I'm back! Awards and working with charitable organisations.

Yes, it has been a while since I have last written my blog but I have been busy with family commitments, teaching and other creative projects. I do apologise for my long absence but if you don’t hear from me for some time then you know I am working on something! Lol!

So much has happened over the last few months that I would like to share it with everyone. Remember Brightside’? My short documentary? Well? it has won a number of awards from film festivals around the world!

Just to mention a few, The Impact Documentary Award based in San Diego, California, awarded Brightside the short documentary award a few months ago. Apart from that the International Film Festival for Women, Social Issues and Zero Discrimination based in Indonesia also awarded ‘Brightside’ with International Short Documentary award for 2016. Yippee! The Indonesian film festival was a huge success for us with more than two hundred media articles, Radio interviews and TV News covering the event. The festival was also attended by two women government ministers who presented awards during the ceremony. It was a proud moment for both me, my co-producer Clair Haynes and my film crew. Yes, without my film crew ‘Brightside’ could not have been possible.

As a result of winning these film awards a number of TV shows have shown interest in airing ‘Brightside’ on their channels. I’ll keep you posted as and when that happens ):

Phew! If that was not enough I have been busy with teaching. I am proud to say my refugee class has been increasing over the year. It has been really rewarding  teaching these students. Sigh! What many people fail to understand is how many of these people are suffering and at the mercy of charities to help them out. Unlike the media coverage of refugees, very few of these people are receiving benefits or handouts. Working with a charitable organisation, I have seen first- hand the difficulties they are facing in just trying to help the most vulnerable and needy. Most of them are not just working with refugees but they are also helping out with the homeless and most helpless in the UK. I cannot tell you how in awe I am of these organisations who help the less fortunate.

I am actually embarrassed to say this but last month I was awarded Star Volunteer Tutor by Leicester City Council. It was a pleasant surprise for me but this is nothing compared to my students who attend my lessons. They are the real stars behind my teaching.

Before I go it is our fasting month. This is month of tolerance, patience, forgiveness and mercy. Any Muslim who fasts will try to strive to meet these qualities This is a month when Muslims are trying to get closer to God which means praying and carrying out good deeds. For anyone to carry out horrific acts in the name of Allah is wasting their time and effort. I hope and pray people can look past the isolated terrorist attacks that sometimes occurs in the name of Islam and see the peaceful loving religion for what it is, and its 1.6 billion followers who are striving to be better people.

Belated Ramadan Mubarak and & Eid Mubarak everyone!

Paris, Lebanon and Baghdad attacks.

The Isis massacre in Paris on Friday is far from the beginning of these terrible attacks. These major occurrences have been happening around the world for many months. Sadly, many of these assaults have gone unnoticed by the rest of the world and not until the Paris attacks on Friday did it shed some light on these awful events taking place. Again, this has to do with media coverage and on who matters the most on this planet.

Before the Paris violence on Thursday night, Lebanon faced its most terrible terror attack in Beirut. 43 people died and over 250 were injured in the double suicide bombing which nearly brought the vibrant city to a stop. Isis took the blame for the carnage but most of the world media was less than non- existent on the situation. As the Paris attacks unfolded on Friday it forced numerous media agencies to shed some light on the Middle East aftermaths.

It seems Lebanon was not the only victim in the latest senseless killings. Early on Friday morning an Isis militant blew himself up at the funeral of a pro-government Shia fighter in Baghdad, killing more than 18 people and wounding 41 people.

Unaware to most people many of these terror attacks take place in Middle Eastern countries. According to the latest statistics, Iraq has the highest claim of terrorist attacks followed by Afghanistan, Pakistan, Nigeria and Syria. It seems the West and Europe come very down low in the list and account for only a small fraction.

Not to belittle the situation in Paris. Violence anywhere in the world should not be tolerated but fought against under all circumstances. Those who lost their lives on Friday in Paris came from a variety of backgrounds, faiths and countries. Paris is a multicultural city and Parisians are very proud of their beautiful hometown. To mourn the dead is mourning people of all cultures, nationalities and religions. This includes refugees washed up on the shores off Greek Islands or those fleeing persecution from tyrant regimes. To stand against terrorism it to stand for solidarity against violence and learning to be tolerant of one another. All in the hope that one day there is an integrated world and peace in all countries. (Ameen) :)

Refugees and migrants need protection

The distressing pictures of the young Syrian boy Aylan Kurdi, who drowned with his mother and his older brother was finally laid to rest today in his home town of Koban. His father Abdullah Kurdi the only survivor from this tragedy returned home to bury his family in Syria.   As a result of what has happened to Mr Kurdi his only wish is to be buried alongside his family.

What started out as a family fleeing a war torn country ended in tragedy when the overcrowded boat they were travelling in capsized. Mr Kurdi tried to save his family from the big waves but sadly watched them pass away before his very eyes. It was only after Mr Kurdi lost everything that the Canadian government came forward and offered him citizenship which he declined.

Lately it seems tragedies such as these are the only way to force people to sit up and take notice. The situation in Calais and Hungary is not so different to what happened to the Kurdi family. It has to be said people who leave war torn countries to come to Europe do so for safety and protection. They do not come to the West because it’s a good life or they are trying to jump the immigration queue. It seems there will always be a few cynical, twisted individuals who want to make every immigrant out to be parasites. For the majority of us we will see these people are suffering and acknowledge them as human beings.

Thankfully, lesson have been learnt in the wake of Aylan’s tragedy. There has been such a great response from the people of Europe it replaces one faith in humanity again. In Iceland alone 12,000 people have offered to take refugees. Germany has also taken 800,000 refugees and will take more from Syria. Sadly, the British government has been slow in responding to the situation but hundreds of Britons are calling on the government to take in more refugees and some are offering their homes. A number of petitions have also been signed to get the British government to do more.

Charities like The UN Refugee Agency (UNHCCR), Refugee Action, Save the Children, International Rescue Committee, World Vision, Doctors of the world, (just a few mentioned) who are on the ground in Calais and Hungary are looking for volunteers to collect on their behalf.

Amazon wish list has also been set up for people to buy specific items such as shoes and sleeping bags to be delivered to Calais in the coming weeks. Getting in touch with these grassroots groups you will be helping the refugee situation. Currently, there are roughly 32 countries involved with migrant fundraising efforts.

Finally, I appreciate how lucky I am to have been born in the UK and that my children are growing up safe here too. We all have a responsibility not to be ignorant of those in need. To be given a chance to help others is a chance to engage with our own humanity. Please let’s not forget that and make change today.
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Ramadan & What it means to be a Muslim

The problem with writing is that you can become so immersed in your own work that you forget what is happening around you. By the time you get round to dealing with things then other stuff tend to pile up for you too. I don’t want to sound like a broken record but a lot has been happening on my end. That and keeping busy with various other projects is keeping me on my toes!

No matter how busy I am, I look forward to one particular month every year in the Islamic calendar. Yes, you guessed it right it’s Ramadan. It is the month full of countless blessings and virtues. Fasting is one of the Pillars of Islam. The act of fasting is itself an act of mercy. It is a time when Muslims try to purify their souls by reconnecting with Allah and abstaining from all kinds of wrong doings. The word ‘Sawm’ literally means ‘to refrain’ not just from food and drink but from bad thoughts and evil actions. Ramadan is also the month in which the Holy Quran was revealed. A month when Muslims will increase their reading of the Quran and put it into practise in their daily lives.

During Ramadan Muslims will engage in extra prayers and worship in the hope of becoming better people. Ramadan is known as the month if empathy. A time when Muslims will reflect on people less fortunate than themselves and try to help better their situations. The virtues of fasting are great indeed, and one of the virtues is that God chose fasting for Himself. Prophet Muhammad said:

"Allah said) "Every good deed of Adam's son is for him except fasting;it is for Me. I shall reward (the fasting person) for it.' Verily, the smell of the mouth of a fasting person is better to Allah than the smell of musk." (Al-Bukhari) 

The beauty of the first ten days of Ramadan is that it is full of mercy and blessings. As Muslims are actively seeking to please Allah in this month their reward will increase up to seventy folds. It is important to point out for a Muslim to gain Allah's pleasure in this month is only possible through sincere repentance and pleasing Him and Him alone. If a person's intention is to please another person or organisation then they will have wasted their time and made no gains for themselves in this world or the hereafter

It is at this point I need to express that sometimes in the media we see individuals carrying out horrific acts of violence in the name of Islam. For some strange reason they like to choose the blessed month of Ramadan to carry out their evil. These perpetrators do not represent ordinary Muslims, what they do has nothing to do with Islam. According to Islamic teachings they should be held accountable for their wrong doings in this world and will certainly in the hereafter. Most Islamic scholars and Muslims dissociate themselves from such evil people and organisations. However as it is the Holy Month of Ramadan most Muslims are trying to avoid speaking ill of anyone and keeping up with their worship in this blessed month. Most Muslims will be praying for all those who have lost someone in the latest tragic event that took place abroad. For Muslims this month is better than a thousand months. It is best time to ask for Allah’s help in all circumstances.

On a different note, I have also been involved in a homeless project with a Christian/Muslim organisation. A humbling experience and something that I will continue to do over the coming months.It takes place once a month and suitable for anyone to get involved. Without sounding patronising I feel working on this project is building bridges and bringing communities together. We all live in hope for a better world Insh-Allah. :)

Working on my novel

For all those who have been waiting for my next blog I do apologise for the delay. Phew! This has been quite an intense period in my life. I have been working hard on my novel which is taking most of my time. There is just a lot to do. Just because you may finish writing a novel does not automatically mean it is ready for publish. As many of you know there is a lot to do in between what with the rewrites, adding missing bits to the plot, character building etc.etc..Sigh! 

Writing can be such a lonely business. I did not realise how many hours and days would be spent trying to get my novel structured the way I want it to be. Again, you are never satisfied with the results. There is always a part of you that wishes you could have done better. The worst bit is when you send it out there to agents and publishers, you know if it get’s picked up there will be more work to do! Lol! I am cool with that!

Apart from my novel writing I have been also been working on some articles which will be shortly published. It has been a hectic time for me.  If anyone is waiting to hear from me I will be in touch soon.

I am still sending Brightside to a couple of film festivals and waiting to see what happens. There is so much going on. The most important thing for me at the moment is I am on standby for my son who is sitting his GCSES this year. I am proud to say he has been relentless with his revision. I am hoping and praying he get the results he deserves. :) He’s probably going to get annoyed I put this section in. lol! Teenagers get so embarrassed quickly these days. Lol! Well, I am his mum and will think the best for him.:) 

Glad to be blogging again!

Yes, it has been a long time since I last wrote on my blog. For personal reasons I have been kept away and focusing on other creative projects. Actually, it has not been a bad thing doing other things. It has opened my eyes to the amount of creativity out there and how easy it is to get involved in such projects.

Whilst, I’ve been off radar, I have also focused on my novel and other writing materials too. It has been very interesting point in my life. Something that I will always cherish. In this period, I have also been working for charitable organisations like Friends of Alqsa. I have been writing a series of articles and literature leaflets for their charity.

I have to admit, it has been very therapeutic focusing on my writing projects. I have just completed my children’s fantasy novel and in the process of filling in the gaps and tidying it up. I am surprised it is nearly a 65,000 word novel. Hopefully, in a couple of months, I hope to send it out there. God willing it will get picked up somewhere. Who knows what might happen? Anyway, I am back now and still hoping to do more film projects in the future.

For all those who remember Brightside? Well, I am still sending it out there to film festivals. It doesn’t matter when it was made a creative body will always appreciate its purpose. So, yes, there are plenty of opportunities to send my documentary to good film organisations. I am quite excited this time round. Anyway, I’ll keep you posted on things.

Brightside -Indiegogo campaign

Please donate to support the documentary we've been working on. We need to finish it and get it out to festivals which is expensive business. go to http://www.indiegogo.com/Brightside We have about 45 days to raise what we need. 

Brightside is a documentary which gives a voice to 5 British Muslim Women so the audience can hear their thoughts, perspectives, hopes and dreams.

Film festvials, pushing boundries and moving forward!.

Ok, Brightside enters another few film festivals this week. I am holding my breath! So exciting! Brightside is now ready for promotion. We have set up a crowd funding campaign to push it further. For me this is the most difficult part of the journey. So far, we have self –funded the project entirely. Going public is not something that comes natural to me. I have embraced myself for the long haul. Filming was the easiest part to this process. Promotion in the next few months will prove difficult.

I am not made of steel. Certain things will get to me. What really saddens me is when people pass judgement on you and yet they know nothing about your life.  I know we are all guilty of this, but there is a limit. My crew and I have been working extremely hard to get Brightside out there.  Every spare minute I have is spent trying to promote Brightside wherever possible. Sometimes, my children want something and I have to stall them to deal with Brightside. Fortunately, I have great children Mash- Allah who are patient with me. I love them to bits!

As a newcomer to the Industry I have made many mistakes along the way. Trust me some of these blunders have been pretty cringe-worthy! A bit like being on “You’ve been framed!” lol! Yes, in those moments I wished the ground had swallowed me up! Hey! It doesn’t last though! Again, I learnt from my errors, still learning and moving on. You have to be woman enough to take it!

 As a Muslim woman entering the Film Industry has been difficult to get used to. Clair and the rest of my crew have been brilliant. However, certain individuals will try to bring you down. For me to prove filmmaking is a respectable profession for Muslim woman is my ongoing challenge. There are some who still believe women shouldn’t be working at all. That's fine, people are entitled to their opinions. What people don’t realise is the invisible barrier I am trying to break through. It is hard to explain unless you come from a certain cultural background. My job is to keep getting the message out there and staying strong :)

So my little tip- if you thinking of going into filmmaking then you must be ready for what comes with it. There will be some good surprises, difficult decisions, and hard times ahead. It’s all part of the learning process. Don’t lose heart, chin up and keep going. That’s what it’s all about.

 Other news, I’ve been working with Eemaan on a short film project “Contentment” (10mins) to enter for a film competition. I was mentoring her and had the position of assistant director. I am amazed at what Eemaan picked up while filming. She is a natural! lol!  We hope to send her short to film festivals soon. 

Before I forget,I am posting my interview (Women & Work) with Leicester Business Women in regards to International Women's Day. Ok keep you posted:)

Brightside

Yea! Brightside has been submitted to a number of major film festivals in the last couple of weeks. Presently, we are sending out the 15mins version to film festivals. Our (30mins) is close to being completed and will be sent out soon. Gosh! I can’t believe this is really happening! I used to dream of such stuff but didn’t think it was possible for someone like me! When Clair and I received an e-mail the other week that Brightside had been accepted by a major film festival, I knew then our journey had begun.

The first time I saw my film on DVD ...  there are no words to describe it. Before I continue talking about the making of Brightside, I need to go back to the beginning. How it all started?

It all began when I went on Chris Jones’ filmmaking course. I remember sitting through the entire course, hardly saying a word to anyone, scared of being found out for my lack of knowledge. Chris on the other hand was encouraging and positive toward us all. He gave us lots of useful information and tips in how to break into the film industry. It was back then I got introduced to Ross Mcminn, our Editor, who would later work with us on Brightside. So you never know who you may meet on a course!

Filmmaking started out as a hobby. Using my hand flip camera, I would film the kids, practice to zoom in and out of focus and interview friends and family to polish up on existing skills. I attended quite a few film courses, but it was on my last course, Filmdirecting4Women, when it was still running, where I would meet Clair Haynes my Co-Producer and Co- Director to Brightside. Clair and I hit it off immediately and the rest of course is history. Ruth Torjussen who ran the course back then ( is now setting up other Business Ventures) was a real inspiration to us both! Her course was practical and in depth with details on camera techniques.

The turning point for me was when I spoke to Farhana Shaikh. She is the fantastic Editor for the Asian Writer Magazine who told me about “Women’s Voices Now" the film festival based in New York & L.A. Seeing some of the films on this website made me realise my dreams could be a reality!  All the films were produced and directed by Muslim women from around the world, including countries such as, Afghanistan, Yemen and Palestine. To see these women in action was the push and motivation I needed. What excuse did I have? I was living in England!

 The idea for Brightside sprung to mind while I was still on Ruth’s Course. After meeting with Clair, I decided to work on the storyboard and questionnaires and the poem. All the time, I kept thinking how could we take the project to the next level? It is important to point out that at this stage Clair and I were meeting every fortnight. A lot of planning went on before our shooting dates. Our main worries were ...   cost? Hiring Equipment? ... Location? All the normal .. big... big... questions that need to be thought through properly before filming happens.

We hired the lovely Doreen Fonju from London to be our camerawoman. We felt it was important to have a woman interviewing the five Muslim women and our actress. All the women were very happy to work with her. We had no problem getting the best out of each lady. We were shooting on a Canon 7D Digital SLR Camera using different lenses whenever necessary.

Farid El- Jazouli our Sound Engineer has been with us throughout the whole project. A pretty easy going guy, but sometimes I got the impression he felt a bit out numbered by us women! lol! He is cool and a total professional! We look forward to his last bit of contribution to Brightside.

Again, have to repeat a big ...huge thank you to Ross, our Editor who was very patient and understanding with both Clair and I. I’m sure we tested his patience to the limit but he never lost his cool. There were times when we had to make last minute changes and he would do it without kicking up a fuss. A good tip is to find a good Editor who you can work with. You will be working very closely with them during the post production stage and you need someone who gets your vision. We were fortunate to have found Ross. You may decide to edit the film yourself which is great if you know what you are doing? Otherwise invest in a good Editor, it will save you a lot of agro, money and heartache!
Oops...need to mention the other team members who I owe a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart. They are: Kristian from Keyestudio, Carl Harris, Shaun Taylor, Manike Music and all the volunteers who took part. Without their effort and contribution Brightside could not have been completed. Clair has been working closely with them while I work on other stuff to do with Brightside. Have to say...they are the best at what they do!

A little tip, if you decide to do a joint film project. Do make sure it's a person you can rely on, honest and makes you comfortable. Don’t worry about feeling inadequate or making a fool of yourself. You will make many mistakes along the way but its how you will learn. If you are going to go into filmmaking with the attitude you know everything... you may cause yourself a lot of problems.

In my experience to get advice from your crew can be helpful in getting your vision across.  You need to be 100% behind your project if you want it to happen. Don’t panic if things start to go wrong, learn from your mistakes and move on. When things go right, feel happy, enjoy the moment, you made it happen!  Finally, this is your story and you are bringing it too life. Be happy and enjoy the ride!

2012, Post Production & Leicester Voices

Belated New Year Everyone! In case you’re wondering what has happened to me in the last few months? Well, I have been around but trying to juggle too many things!! Apologies to all who follow my blog. I have been up to ‘my eyeballs’ in teaching and post production meetings. Hopefully, I’m back on track and hope to keep you posted with updates:-) Just to let you know, I’m not just a filmmaker but a mother, worker, teacher, carer literally playing all roles. Yes, sometimes it can be difficult to strike the right balance and boundaries can get muddled. Women naturally multi-task and have been doing it for centuries. I really admire and respect my mother’s generation who have been doing it quietly for years without complaints. I never understood until recently why she used to do so much? It’s not that women are not capable of playing different roles but sometimes we need recognition and to be understood. It makes a big difference when partners, children, family or friends appreciate us!!

Ok,going back to our last shoot date, which was the 20th Dec, 2011, at the film studio at Phoenix Square. It was an amazing five/ six hours of non-disturbed filming. Without sounding too cliché, I had to pinch myself as I witnessed my vision come to life on set. This was the poem performance, the final part to my film. In the limited time that we had, I was doing all sorts of crazy stuff, like buying makeup from Asda for our actress before we even got to the studio! Yes I know! Trust me, when you are on a tight budget,you will do anything to make those pennies count! Again, I was not just Director…Producer… but playing numerous other roles, it was quite hilarious at times! Someday, I hope to write memoirs on my journey into filmmaking.

I owe a big thank you to our amazing actress Sareena Rai who gave a magical performance on the day. She was amazing to watch in action. I hope we will be seeing more of her on TV soon! Finally, to be able to say “It’s a wrap!”…was emotional moment for me. It will be something I can look back to and know I was part of making history. I made my ideas and vision come to life! A huge achievement for myself and something I'm very proud to be part of.

As my journey comes to an end. I can't sometimes believe how far I have come. It never crossed my mind that I would reach this stage so quickly. My film now enters the final stages of post- production. Again, many thanks and appreciation to my crew who were very hands on the day! We hope to send my film to film festivals next month. Wish us luck! :-)

Of course I am now hit by the filming bug. What do I do? A short experimental film involving the Somali Development Service of Leicester. This project was filmed and produced in 24hrs and put on Citizen Eye’s front page for the weekend 4th -6th Feb 2012. The weekend when the dreaded EDL decided to return to Leicester for another protest. I would like to thank Managing Director Jawaahir Daahir and Maryam Anshur for their contribution to this project. Again, I am very proud of this project. Ok keep you posted on what I do next!

Working hard!

In the last few months I have been studying for two courses and doing some teaching at the same time. It was difficult, but I have to admit all the hard work has paid off. I’m proud to say, firstly, I’ve achieved a women’s business course, secondly, nearly completed a documentary and at the final stages of completing my second course. Sometimes, I wonder how I manage to keep it all together but somehow I do!!
The business course was important for me to do as I hope to set up my own production company soon. Creativity runs freely through my veins but maths and numbers I struggle with. These days you need a business head to achieve good success! Watch this space...
As we come close to completing the documentary, I can’t help but feel honoured and privileged to be part of such a experience. I have learnt a lot and still learning as we continue filming. For anyone who is in the industry will know how much patience, planning is needed and thinking on your feet is necessary to make a vision come to life.
I may have started out as a director but it’s not the only role I have played on this project. As we are self funding this documentary, it’s only natural for me to take up other roles. In the last few days I have overseen costume fitting and makeup consultation. It is hairy to say the least!! Mistakes are bound to happen,yes, costly too! For anyone in the business will know taking responsibility is important, you have to be strong willed- no escaping from it.I’m getting there slowly but surely and not afraid of the pitfalls that may come my way.For me, crying tears of joy, frustration and happiness is part and parcel of learning from the experience. Being behind the lens is where I am most comfortable.

As I watch my vision come to life, it is a bit like Dorothy from 'Wizard of OZ'! It's magical when things are going right!!
Phew! If that was not enough, I have one final good news to share. I attended the Annual Leicester Writer’s club dinner a few weeks ago. To my surprise, I received the Trudie Dub award for non-fiction! It recognises writing achievements other than a published novel. In my case it has been blogging, newspaper articles and e- published interviews. I was grateful and happy to receive it:-)

Directing for the first time!

Taking on the role of director for the first time is indescribable. Watching your ideas develop on film is an amazing feeling! A couple of months ago I wouldn’t have believed it was possible. Thanks to Clair Hayes (my co- producer) and Ruth’s Torjussen (whose film seminar I attended) I have nearly completed my first documentary project. Hooray!!!Sometimes we dream of things we wish to do. There will always be reasons and excuses to put us off. It is in these moments we need to take the `bull by the horn’ and show the sturdy stuff we’re made of! This was how it was for me…act now or regret later! My former inner voice won of course!Having Clair our co-producer and artistic director working side by side with me was a source of great comfort. Her expertise with the help of Doreen Fonju our lovely camerawoman, and Farid on sound were the making of a great crew. Being with my experienced crew was a great learning curve. It would have been silly of me to have thought my only job was to be a director.Being on set and behind the scenes is where I learnt most. Helping to change lens, setting up a tripod or fixing the lights are all the things you could normally miss. Being a small film crew they needed my help. In any working relationship it is important to make sure your staff don't feel intimidated. I didn’t want them to be put off by me but instead that I learn from them. Having good communication with my crew helped develop a better understanding of what we all wanted out of this project. Before I started, I was afraid of costs, hiring crew, equipment, being taken seriously, and most importantly completing the project. All things that normally makes people run a mile! Now as we near the end….I am content, proud, and confident that this is the beginning of something important in my life. Directing and co-producing as a woman and Muslim woman is a WOW factor! Watch this space…keep you posted

Ramadan, and the famine of East Africa

The blessed month of Ramadan is upon us again. It’s amazing how the months can whizz by so fast and return to this special time again. Ramadan is a time to reflect on past actions and contemplate in how to change for the better in the future. Fasting is not something physical, but is rather the total commitment of the person's body and soul to the spirit of the fast. I have to admit eighteen or nineteen hours of fasting is difficult but it is nothing compared to the 10 million people facing starvation in East Africa and Somalia. Having experienced the recent mini heat wave in Leicester, it’s just a taster of what the people of Africa must be suffering.
To complain my mouth is dry and my throat a little itchy sounds silly. I may face difficulty speaking and trying to keep to small talk whenever necessary as I try to reserve energy. At least I am healthy and in good spirits. I wonder how they are coping in Africa. My hunger pangs can be quite frustrating but I let is pass. As I know at the end of the day I will break my fast but others won’t. I remember watching the news about one woman tying a rope around her stomach to stop the hunger pangs. What is there to say?
I cannot comprehend the unimaginable horror facing these brave people as they walk hundreds of miles to reach clean water or a charitable organisation. Watching them on TV really brings it home how lucky I am. A lot of these children making this trip with their parents will not survive. There is a lot for me to be grateful for. As I speak there are many great aid agencies working against the clock to get food and medicine to these suffering regions. My prayers and thoughts are with all those involved. Wishing everyone a happy and peaceful Ramadan!

Family weddings, directing and good reviews!

The last few months have been extremely busy for me. I spent half term attending a family wedding from Birmingham to London as the celebrations lasted a whole week. In my experience, family weddings can turn out to be more like Friends Reunited gatherings, where some people you really want to see and others you are desperate to avoid!!!

I was glad to go back to Leicester and attend a one day film directing4 women’s seminar run by Ruth Torjusssen. She is a brilliant tutor with a lot of technical knowledge on filming. Taking her course has inspired to think of making a short documentary. Will keep you keep posted on filming developments.

Yet, the best news I received was a few weeks ago about a short story I published over a year ago. To my surprise, it received a brilliant review from a publisher who is now keen to see the first three chapters of my children’s fantasy. I’m over the moon!

Looking after a young adult

If you were asked to look after a child that was not yours would you do it? Yes I’m talking about possible fostering, helping out with extended family or taking on a friend’s child now and then because they needed your help. Given the current climate, many people would be frightened to come forward to such causes. Don’t get me wrong, I have met good Samaritans who would at a drop of a hat do anything for anyone. Yet, for the majority of us there are plenty of reasons not to do so. Recession, unemployment, family commitments of our own are good reasons to think twice. But, if we all kept making excuses what would happen to the children that really needed our help?
Recently, I was put in a situation where I couldn’t refuse. Going against advice given, I decided to take care of a young adult I knew. Why? If I hadn’t come forward, this young person’s situation was about to get worse. Was I worried, scared, nervous? Yes, but nothing compared to what this young person was going through.
My only other concern was how my own children would react to the situation. It had been a while since a young person had come to stay with us again. The usual emotions of jealousy, anger, and frustration were apparent in my kids to begin with, but, to my relief, they didn’t need much reassurance to change their attitude. I am proud to say they came round to the newest member of our family pretty quick.
I’m not going to lie and say looking after someone’s child is easy. A lot of it does come down to strong communication, listening to what young people are actually saying and respecting their wishes. Most importantly, learning to have patience can help you when confronted with serious problems. Being responsible for a young person is not everyone's thing. Yet in my case it was beneficial. When I watch the news, natural disaster taking place all around the world, the tsunami in Japan, drought in Africa, I have no regrets in what I’m doing.

One day Film Makers Course

I must really enjoy pushing myself to the limits! If it wasn’t enough for me to do the cycling course, I participated in a one day’s film makers course on Saturday. Yes, totally exhausted but somehow managed to get to the Phoenix Arts with my bruised legs!
The great thing about this course it was totally hands on. The instructors Steve and George were totally brilliant, helpful, and hands on. The course went over some of the basics about filming. Close ups, medium shots and long shots. Loved using the Mac book for editing purposes and picked up so many helpful tips along the way. The best part was learning to film professionally. Yes, it has made me think of all the bloopers, mistakes I’ve made on my own film project so far. It’s all part of the learning process. Will have to reshoot outdoors again as spring appears. Sigh…

Learning to ride a bike again!

Seeing an advert for a woman’s cycling course during half term was a great opportunity not to pass up. Having not been on a bike since the age of ten it was going to be interesting to see what happens. My brothers were always putting me off riding because of their dangerous BMX's wheelie stunts. Could I cycle again? Was the big question. There was no harm in trying.
Explaining my half-term plans didn’t go down too well with family and friends. Some outright disapproved, while others emphasised caution, concerned for my safety on the course. Interestingly enough, many people see cycling on the road as dangerous. According to some statistics, cyclists have the highest death rate in London. Was that going to put me off? My worst fear was learning to ride again after all these years. There was only one way to find out.
The cycling course ran for five days at a local school. The first day was spent in a school gym,which was a relief to myself and the other women who weren’t ready to venture the outdoors. After a few false starts, near hits and just missing the wall, I was riding a bike within twenty minutes of starting the course. Not bad! I was a pretty good rider.
Exhilaration, excitement, freedom and independence are the best words to describe how I felt. I was liberated in a way that a car would never allow me. It gave me control, time to think, de-stress from all worries. Burning calories was another added bonus for being on a bike. The other things that I discovered, it was therapeutic, fun and I was more tuned in with nature than behind a wheel.I felt it was the beginning of something important in my life.
What made this project so worth while was the hard work and effort of the female instructors who were running the course. They were the catalyst in helping to bring women from all different backgrounds together. No language necessary, no backgrounds explained, a bond was made. A voice understood. Equal yet learners. Something special was happening. Hope for the next generation. Before I get carried away in this poetic nature, (I have been writing a lot of poems lately- explain later) I will be buying a bike soon. Not to replace my car any time soon, but to ride with my children to the park and other safe cycling places.
This course has given me the confidence to ride a bike again. I’m sure I speak the same for the other women who attended this course. Danger will always be on the road. Pedestrians face it everyday. Taking courage in trying something new is always going to be difficult. Cycling allows you the freedom to use other means of transport than a car everyday. It is cheap, friendly to the environment, great form of exercise and a brilliant networking system for women. It was surprising to see so many mothers on the course during half term. Many brought their children along and it was no problem. Everyone had fun and felt part of the group.
I had my doubts at the beginning, but I'm glad to have done this course. For me the pros outweighed all the cons. I took up the challenge and didn't regret it. It's how you learn. Watch out! You may see me in a charity ride soon!

2011 and Leicester Film Doc festival

A new year begins and I am looking forward to what it brings.Did I achieve everything I set out to do in 2010? No of course not. Everything that has happened to me over the last year, good and bad, has been a learning curve. That’s my take on life. I feel stronger, focused and ready to take on a challenge. I’m ready for 2011 whatever it brings for me!
Recently I attended Leicester First Doc Film. I spent the afternoon watching the following documentaries: Leicester Market by Nick Hamer, A Life in Modeling by Gareth Morgan, Treasure Box, Young Athletes Programme, Islam by Largescale Films, Shut Your Mouth by Keith Allot & Disabled Children’s Service, Photographer. It was a real eye opener. Lots of interesting and exciting stuff going on in Leicester! Inspired to complete my own film project!

Literature at Lunchtime 'Uncle Tom's Cabin and Voluntary work.

I attended Jane Mackay literature at lunchtime hour last Thursday and I’m so glad I did. Harriet Beecher Stowe’s `Uncle Tom’s Cabin’ was discussed. She may not have been everybody’s taste but I think she was a positive influence in the abolitionist cause. I know there are lots of Africans and African-Americans who will disagree with me but I believe she did what she thought was right according to her time.
Jane begins the lecture as usual with the writer’s background. Harriet was a Christian, teacher, and an active abolitionist in the 1850’s. She wrote `Uncle Tom’s Cabin’ to expose the reality of slavery and her belief that Christian love can overcome something as difficult as slavery. Today, many Afro-Americans believe Harriet’s book actually encouraged and popularized the stereotypes of Afro- American people. Personally speaking, I don’t believe Harriet had that intention in mind. Yes, the references to `mammy’ and `uncle Tom’ and other words are difficult to stomach and make you want to chuck away the book. Yet, it is important to remember Harriet’s book was written in a time when slavery was thriving.
Going to this lecture helped me reflect on my journey in the last few months. I don’t really want to talk about it in depth but to say I was volunteering at an outstanding establishment. At first everything was running smoothly and I was learning a lot from staff I was working under. However, as time went on the mood began to shift and I felt some of the staff less welcoming.
At first, I didn’t realise anything was wrong as there were so many other things going on in my life that I had become forgetful. You see my youngest had fallen ill and it was pretty scary time for me dealing with blood tests and doctor’s appointments. Thank God! Everything turned out fine with her and it was nothing too serious. Yet, at the same time some of the staff at this place began to exclude and ignore me. A surreal and weird situation for me to be in. From previous experience people who behave in this manner tend to be bullies who have many insecurities of their own. I always believe people who behave in this tyrant manner show up their true nature and what quality of person they are. I tried not to let their behaviour affect me but at times it was hard to deal with.
Looking back, perhaps I was a little naive going to such a place. I’m not an arrogant person and will admit when I am wrong. I know I have made plenty of mistakes in my time there, but in no way does it justify the childish bullying that I experienced. In such difficult circumstances I try to reflect upon what I could have done differently. I am still baffled by some of the staff's behaviour towards me. I will not say that all my experience was terrible there. I did meet some exceptional hardworking staff. People I learnt to respect and admire.
I realise in life there will always be someone who will judge, ridicule or make you out to be something you’re not which is ok. People are entitled to their opinions. I know who I am and what I am about. What I have decided is to take away the good from this experience and implement it in my next journey. I don’t like to reflect too much on the negative side of my experience as I believe it leads to nothing. So in the next month I will continue my filming project as planned.

Teaching- Asian Writer’s Anthology, EDL and the one love festival.

Since the end of Ramadan I have become extremely busy teaching, studying and looking after the family. Having said that though, I did find time to write a funny short story for the Asian writer’s Anthology out next week.
Lately, I don’t have time for myself. Perhaps, it has to do with my workload but it can’t be helped at the moment. I started a three month teaching course in Derby-something I have to do. Trying to fulfil all roles mother, teacher, student, extended family member is difficult.It kind of saddens me to know I’m not writing for pleasure. I am trying to prioritise my time and get back to what I promised I wouldn’t let go of but it’s hard. Playing the juggling octopus does take its toll. What can you do? Most days I’m up at the crack of dawn and out before 7.30- it kills.
Since the English Defence League has made it's appearance this weekend, it has made me more determined to get back to my writing. In my opinion, this group is full of semi -literate thugs who go round scare mongering and making exaggerated claims about Muslims taking over Britain. A bit like reading a fantasy book!!!Totally far-fetched!!! I wish they would polish up on their English, English law and history before they go round making such nonsensical claims. I suppose standing on roof tops and chanting racist remarks is a good way to get the media’s attention. I know I shouldn’t judge but they infuriate me!
I’m glad to say the counter balance to the EDL coming to Leicester has been for me to take the kids and attend the one love festival at Humberstone Gate today. It was great joy to see so many different people attending the event. People smiling - full of love, compassion and understanding. I think I'm about to break out into a Bob Marley song!:-)